DMM Oatmeal Cookies

I developed this recipe back in 1983, while an undergraduate in college. Basically, I took the recipe then given on the Quaker Oats box (it's changed now, and not for the better), cut down on the sugar, and quintupled the vanilla.

You are warned that this is in fact a very dangerous recipe, for two reasons:

First, these cookies are sufficiently tasty that people have nearly come to blows when an insufficient number remain.

Second, since they're high on oats and not too sweet, it is easy enough to pretend that they're good for you. In reality, they're just another dessert and should be treated as such. If you try to live on them for a week, you'll be sick. I know this from experience.

Ingredients

• 6 cups Quaker 5-minute oats, uncooked
• 2 cups flour
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp salt

• 1 1/2 cups Crisco brand shortening (brand does make a difference here)
• 1 cup brown sugar (dark or light)
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 1/2 cup water
• 2 eggs
• 5 tsp vanilla (get good vanilla; Penzey's is best)

• 1-2 cups raisins
• 1/4 package chocolate chips (semi-sweet morsels); optional

Mixing Instructions

In a large mixing bowl, thoroughly combine the dry ingredients (oats, flour, baking soda, salt).

In a separate and very large mixing bowl, beat together (by hand with a fork or equivalent) the shortening, brown sugar, sugar and water. Beat until pretty well mixed up - you're looking for a particle size of about 1/8 inch for the shortening.

Add the eggs and vanilla to the wet ingredients. It's ok to spill a little extra vanilla in. Beat by hand until nearly creamy, but do not overbeat into a solid cream.

Add and mix in the raisins and chocolate chips. The amounts given in the ingredient list are just general guidelines; add quantities to taste.

Baking Instructions

Preheat oven to 350 deg. F. Clear a few square feet of table or counter space and cover it with paper towels. Inform cats that this is not a playground.

Drop cookies on ungreased metal baking/cookie sheets. The way to do this is counterintuitive. Use a table knife as a kind of a small spatula and scoop up a cookie's worth of dough. Then use the back side of a fork to push it off the knife and onto the baking sheet. Leave sufficient space between cookies; they'll spread out. I can usually fit about a dozen on a regular large cookie sheet.

Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for about 10 to 11 minutes, depending on how brown you want them. They're fairly resiliant, but don't overbake them or they'll dry out.

Take out of oven and transfer immediately to paper towels spread out on a table. A metal spatula works best. They are not yet firm, and must be moved with care. This step drains off some of the oil remaining in them.

Let them cool a little before eating.